Survival Mode

For some reason, despite having more going on during each day since Kellen was born, I have actually been less tired than I remember being when we brought Noelle home from the hospital. Perhaps it is because of the insomnia keeping me awake most of my pregnancy with Noelle, or just that I have pretty much not slept through the night in about 3 years now and am used to it, but during my maternity leave I was tired, but not exhausted. I never had nights where I couldn't remember if I had just fed Kellen or was about to, and most of the time I didn't need a nap during the day to make it to bedtime. Then came the return of work yesterday.

It is only day two, but I think our family has already moved in to survival mode. Kellen survived his first day of daycare. He was pretty wide-eyed about it all when I got there to pick him up. And his car seat was inside of the pack and play as he decided he wanted to sleep in it and Noelle wouldn't leave him alone otherwise. But he drank his bottles, threw up milk on both Ms. Rose and her niece who is helping for a few weeks, and generally did his happy little baby thing. Noelle had a tougher day. She wasn't the center of everyone's attention. And she didn't like that so much. She refused to use the potty and didn't take her nap. When she tried to take a snooze on the way home and her brother started crying she told him with frustration in her voice to stop crying. She still ate her veggies and rice at dinner and was somewhat pleasant at home, but it was a tough day for her.

Then came bedtime. Kellen went right down at 8, his chosen bedtime. At 12:30 he wanted to eat. Fine. And at 3:30 he decided he was done sleeping. Not ok. Kellen happily and not so happily squwaked (he sounds like a pteradyctal) for the next 45minutes until Bryan put him in our bathroom with the fan on to make him go back to sleep. And at 4:55 am, 5 minutes before the alarm went off, he was up again. This time for good. He laughed and smiled through my morning routine, and was still awake when I left at 6:25. I'm glad he loves me and his father and wanted to visit and play during the night and all, but 3:30 am wake up calls after 10 pm bedtimes and 12:30 feedings don't work for us. So tonight we begin phase one of operation our son has to sleep! I am determined not to go in to his room unless the squwaking becomes actual crying. I know Kellen can go to sleep on his on. He does it every night. And I'm sure he'll let me know through tears if he actually needs something. So it's time for me to be strong, let him make his noises, even when they are loud, and pray that we all get some sleep.

Not that I think that means we'll be out of survival mode. From what I hear that's where we'll be for the next 18+ years...