Summer Bachelor

This past week started what I like to call my "summer bachelor period." Laura started her really busy time at work, including getting to work early and staying late every night. This week, for example, Laura has only arrived home before 9:00 pm once, and that was because we had a day care provider visit. Weekends are not excluded. Even when she is at home, she is tethered to a cell phone and on call 24 hours a day. This pretty much stinks for her and I feel really bad that she has to do all this while also carrying Amoeba's few extra pounds.



However, this post is about me. What do I do while this is going on? Besides writing blog posts to help me take a break from studying that is. Well, if the last few summers are any indication, here's the top ten list:
10. Decide to rearrange the furniture in at least one room (already done)
9. Decide that shrub in the back yard just doesn't look right and cut it back
8. Spend an entire day watching movies (after the bar exam of course)
7. Spend an entire day playing video games (again, after the exam)
6. Clean out clothes that I no longer wear
5. Replace most of the clothes because "I might wear them again someday"
4. Replace the rest of the clothes because I just can't bring myself to part with that old ratty t-shirt
3. Start the friend dinner circuit and act like I cannot cook
2. Lost 10 pounds because apparently I did forget to cook for myself
1. Call Laura 5 times a day because I am asleep by the time she gets home

At least this summer, I should be using the time to study for the bar exam, so it is not a complete loss. So, if you want to feed me, give me a break from studying, or want to help me relive the bachelor life (and don't mind a dog coming along), just let me know! I'll just be sitting here waiting for Laura to get home anyway!

Birthing Class

Yesterday, we attended a birthing class to get ready for little Amoeba's arrival. Instead of taking a series of short classes, we had decided that one all day session was the way to go. So, at 10am we arrived at the site with our blankets, pillows, lunch, and enthusiasm in tow.

However, the day soon turned rocky. First of all, we were sitting in what were possibly the most uncomfortable chairs in the world. I know if everything below my chest was numb from the pain of the chairs, it had to just be heaven for the dozen or so extremely pregnant ladies in the room. Most people ended up having to move to the floor, use pillows, stand up, walk around, and generally do anything to get comfortable. And then there were the pregnant ladies who ended up having to do much more! Maybe the numbness inducing chairs were intended to be practice Epidurals. Or maybe they were just a stupid purchase by the medical center. You make the call.

The session was scheduled to last 6 hours, but little did we know that 5 hours of it would be a video (with a 30 minute lunch break). The facilitator really fleeced everyone with that one. Was it really necessary to have a bunch of people sit around in uncomfortable chairs just to watch a video? I would have thought that since it didn't take much prep on the part of the facilitator, that they could have taken the $85 per couple fee and bought a couple of cushions. Better yet, since we only watched a video, don't charge so much! If you do want people to watch a video, make it available online so people can watch it from the comfort of their own homes. Of course, it would make sense to be thoughtful and accommodating to a room full of expectant mothers and their significant others. We wouldn't want that.

Luckily for us, the video wasn't from the 80's as we were expecting. Our video was clearly made in the early 90's (or whenever the last time bib-overalls and poofy hair were the fashion norm)! Yay us. We got a video that was made when most people in the room were in middle school. At $85 a couple, you'd think they could at least get some higher quality actors than the volunteers they had on film. Where were Tom, Katie, and the birth of little Suri? What about Gwyneth, Chris, and little Apple's voyage into the world? Instead we get early 90's volunteers who can barely read their cue cards? What's that about?

It wasn't all bad. We did get a fun book that had information and worksheets, so maybe it costs $80 to print 100 pages at the hospital. I guess I'll be bringing my own printer to Amoeba's birth so we don't get stuck with printing costs in addition to everything else! We also found out that I can watch a video with all of the wonderfully nasty things that happen during childbirth without passing out, and only getting slightly nauseous. Now, let's just hope I can do the same at the real thing!

So, child birth class done, hospital tour done, and baby's room ready. Now, only a few more little things to go (like the bar exam) and we'll be ready for the little one!

Touring the Hospital

Laura has been asking me to take a break from studying for the bar exam to post, so here we go.

Yesterday, we headed to the hospital and the child birth center. No, not to have the baby, but to get a tour and become familiar with where we hope to be comfortably waiting when Laura gives birth. As you all know, we are planners, so this was actually a little late for us to be getting the tour. If we were following our own overly scheduled tenancies, we would have toured the hospital about 10 months ago, but c'est la vie.

Being the cute couple that we are, we decided to carpool. Laura headed to pick me up before the appointment, but ended up getting stuck in traffic. On this point, I must digress. One of the things that has amazed me ever since we moved to Maryland is the way people drive in the rain. It is as if a little water on your windshield makes some people feel the need to drive 5mph in a 30mph zone and then cut off people in the other lane while also talking on their cell phone, eating a donut, reading a book, and brushing their hair.

Anyway, there must have been some accident that prevented Laura from getting all the way to me. So, I decided to walk to her in the middle of a severe thunderstorm warning (kids don't try this at home). We've all seen people on tv get splashed when someone drives through a puddle, right? I used to think that only happened when people had the bad sense to walk through the puddle when a car was coming. As I was walking, though, I found out that even being 20 feet away from the puddle does not prevent splashing all over you and your bar review books. You learn a little about physics every day.

Once I got to where Laura was waiting, Laura (traffic-annoyed) and I (wet and dirty from the puddle), headed to the hospital. We fortunately found a close parking spot and made it in time for the tour, although we didn't realize it was a family affair, since the other couple on the tour had their mother with them (sorry for not giving you the heads up Carol and Sue!).

The tour was pretty uneventful, but we did get several wierd looks from the nurse. It was as if she was surprised that we had done our homework and had intelligent questions to ask. Laura really wanted to ask if dads can go with the baby if she is taken for any tests. "I don't see why not" was the answer we got, so I guess I will be following little Amoeba anywhere she goes in the hospital. That should be exciting for the birthing center staff since Laura wants me to be one of "those" parents. You want to take my child out of the room? OK, we'll just need 3 picture IDs, a social security card, a writing sample, a security deposit, and a background check. Didn't purel your hands when you came in? You better be wearing a hazard suit. It won't be that bad, but I will be following anyone who thinks that Amoeba needs to leave us for any reason.

While we're on the subject, we should give everyone fair warning. Although we are not going to be the kind of parents that worry about every little germ, we will be monitoring everything carefully for the first few months of Amoeba's life outside of the womb. The moral of the story is: don't get offended if we ask you to wash your hands and/or purel before touching her. We will be, so we'd like you to do the same. Already washed your hands? We'd love to believe you, but we want to watch you to make sure. Took a shower a few minutes ago? While we don't want to watch that, we will need proof. Just came out of a clean room (nerd speak for sterile environment)? OK, maybe all you have to do is spin around three times and clap twice. We will do our best not to go crazy when we become parents, but as the commercials say, "A baby changes everything."

You'll have to excuse us for the next few weeks if we don't post as regularly. Laura is getting really busy at work, and my comedic skills are taking a break while I study. OK, maybe they weren't all that great in the first place, but at least I tried! Anyway, back to bar exam prep. Happy Wednesday!


(Gratuitous crib picture to spice up the post)