Birthing Class

Yesterday, we attended a birthing class to get ready for little Amoeba's arrival. Instead of taking a series of short classes, we had decided that one all day session was the way to go. So, at 10am we arrived at the site with our blankets, pillows, lunch, and enthusiasm in tow.

However, the day soon turned rocky. First of all, we were sitting in what were possibly the most uncomfortable chairs in the world. I know if everything below my chest was numb from the pain of the chairs, it had to just be heaven for the dozen or so extremely pregnant ladies in the room. Most people ended up having to move to the floor, use pillows, stand up, walk around, and generally do anything to get comfortable. And then there were the pregnant ladies who ended up having to do much more! Maybe the numbness inducing chairs were intended to be practice Epidurals. Or maybe they were just a stupid purchase by the medical center. You make the call.

The session was scheduled to last 6 hours, but little did we know that 5 hours of it would be a video (with a 30 minute lunch break). The facilitator really fleeced everyone with that one. Was it really necessary to have a bunch of people sit around in uncomfortable chairs just to watch a video? I would have thought that since it didn't take much prep on the part of the facilitator, that they could have taken the $85 per couple fee and bought a couple of cushions. Better yet, since we only watched a video, don't charge so much! If you do want people to watch a video, make it available online so people can watch it from the comfort of their own homes. Of course, it would make sense to be thoughtful and accommodating to a room full of expectant mothers and their significant others. We wouldn't want that.

Luckily for us, the video wasn't from the 80's as we were expecting. Our video was clearly made in the early 90's (or whenever the last time bib-overalls and poofy hair were the fashion norm)! Yay us. We got a video that was made when most people in the room were in middle school. At $85 a couple, you'd think they could at least get some higher quality actors than the volunteers they had on film. Where were Tom, Katie, and the birth of little Suri? What about Gwyneth, Chris, and little Apple's voyage into the world? Instead we get early 90's volunteers who can barely read their cue cards? What's that about?

It wasn't all bad. We did get a fun book that had information and worksheets, so maybe it costs $80 to print 100 pages at the hospital. I guess I'll be bringing my own printer to Amoeba's birth so we don't get stuck with printing costs in addition to everything else! We also found out that I can watch a video with all of the wonderfully nasty things that happen during childbirth without passing out, and only getting slightly nauseous. Now, let's just hope I can do the same at the real thing!

So, child birth class done, hospital tour done, and baby's room ready. Now, only a few more little things to go (like the bar exam) and we'll be ready for the little one!